“I recently met a PhD holder female head of the department in one of the IITs who has mentored thousands of students through their Phds but was mainly bothered about how her thirteen year old son has been asked to bring healthy food in the school which demands her to get up early, cook the same and how it was easier to give him maggi or bread once in a while before. She also mentioned about her ailing mother in law and busy husband but did not even talk once about the research she is carrying out except she does not get time to pursue it as much as she wants. This was when her family and husband are extremely supportive and she epitomises modern,urban,liberated women.”
Housewives all across the globe are not only raising and nurturing the next generation but they are also the ones ensuring stability and sustainability of this planet. What makes it more interesting is they are also least credited for the tremendous job they are performing. They are not even reimbursed (not that they want it,rather acknowledgment is what they seek) and chose this task of being a housewife voluntarily.
Types of Housewives
There are only two types of housewives and no in between
Less educated and illiterate housewives
These are the women who were not provided as much opportunities for an education as their male siblings. They were trained to carry out household tasks with utmost perfection so that tomorrow, they can raise their kids and run their houses easily. No ambition and other goals were instilled into their minds and hearts. Family comes first and foremost, has always been their achievement evaluation criteria. They were also ingrained with a feeling of being a lesser sex which ensured their obedience,smooth operations and happy families at the cost of their sacrifices. More than often this lot of housewives also face questions about their contribution to the family and them leading an easy life. Feminism is a word that does not exist in their lives.
More educated and working women
Even when they were provided an opportunity to obtain a quality education, they were also taught to embrace the fact that their education is secondary before their husbands or brothers. Carrying out the family responsibility is their primary job even if it demands abandoning their career goals because husbands are the ones who should be provided with a chance to fulfil their career dreams,rise and shine while they step back, if it comes to that. These women are ambitious,competitive and highly qualified but also an housewife and they mostly carry out with their jobs out of their free will. Nobody back home encourages them to pursue their dreams and make a full fledged career out of their education at the cost of their family lives. Their husbands are never put under guilt pressure of pursuing their careers if kids are suffering or family goals are not achieved unlike the wives.
The ultimate ‘Housewife Taboo’ that plagues our society in many ways
These housewives who were married over their beauty,qualifications,family backgrounds even love and other attributes are reduced to just being ‘a housewife’ as soon as they become a Mother. Becoming a mother is basically being a secondary citizen in your own house where your priorities and happiness comes after your kids. And the thing is they accept this happily too,coming after their kids in a place created by them. After all they love their kids and kids love them back too. If “allowed” they can find a middle way to raise their kids as well as pursuing their career goals amicably but ‘quality raising of children’ is a syndrome that every Indian family is suffering from, especially the elders of the family.
And it demands eternal presence of the mother in her kids lives as long as they need it and give them best of her lifetime in grooming the kids even if it means compromising at the end of her ambitions. Kids are also allowed to ignore their mothers presence when it comes to pursue their dreams or lead their lives as soon as they grow up and don’t need their moms. Is it even fair?
Elders can be seen claiming proudly how their Daughter in Laws are better than the other ones because they are full time sit at home mothers and how their kids are getting more attention and better grooming just because the other mother is also a working woman.
The working wife lives in utmost chaos,family does not value her dedication towards her family and the corporate does not bother about her struggles and contribution towards society and planet. At the end she is reduced to a non performing struggling depressed under confident woman who is seen as a lesser mortal at her house as well as her work place. Sit at house wives are still better with an ultimate ‘what do you do’ remarks from their husbands occasionally.
The working women also have a upper hand
But the working wives also have a upper hands over sit at house, wives in case of marital discord while the housewives feel cheated when they are abandoned by their privileged husbands over various reasons, the working woman can live in satisfaction of not wasting prime of her life just in building and supporting the man who selfishly has forgotten the struggles of the wife (the other woman after his mother) who raised him again to build a niche for himself . She is now fat,non ambitious,good for nothing woman while he is all so successful. Society,elders who played a major role in turning a productive woman to just being a housewife sadly blame the woman again in most cases. They refuse to acknowledge her contributions at the cost of reduction of her whole personality into just being a mother and a wife.
What if the husband and kids don’t need her anymore? Why don’t they advise her to prepare a backup like the insurance policies in case of a disaster during such times? What should be her role now?
In Spite of all the talks of gender neutrality and equal opportunities this is a hard fact and I doubt anything is going to happen to rectify this sheer injustice to the women who chose just to be a housewives because it might risk the myth of a happy family,society,nation and even planet.
Who will ensure the sustainability,smooth operations at our space centers,educational institutes, hospitals and armed forces if the women behind the working force of this planet refuse to support them?
There is another lot of women also known as Army wives about whom I keep on mentioning now and then and their struggles are again, not only heart wrenching but also extraordinary. These are the women behind our forces,emotions behind our soldiers and the ones responsible for sustaining principles of freedom this country stands for. Love Story of a Commando is your must read Romance this year