Military relationships are unique,separations,hardships,long distance,communication gap and a hectic job profile of the military personnel make it challenging for military couples to sustain the relationship. There could be days even months when they have not even talked for once. There could be times when the military girlfriend tried reaching the military boyfriend during toughest of times but could not simply because he was out on a forward post,training hard or busy with a war exercise. And it is truly difficult as a partner or even as military spouse,because this condition does not last days but lingers perennially.You feel why should and how long are you supposed to deal with the persistent absence of your Army. Navy, Airforce Boyfriend / Spouse and why is this your onus? And many a times,many women,even soldiers give up on the relationships simply because they feel it’s much better to live singly then deal with the relationship pressure.
BUT… those who stay in a military relationship and tag along their partner simply because they believed in their relationship, felt the true love and found their perfect partner know how it is to live those moments of reunios and warm hugs when the soldier is back. They survive the test of time not only because they believed in relationship but also because they could not get out even if they wished to,something always pulled them back and kept them together as a successful military couple. There are as many success stories of military relationship as are of failure and with my personal experience with a fauji for over twelve long years and having been part of many military weddings after a tumultuous relationship graph and also after two successful books based on military relationships I think I truly qualify as someone to advise you on how to survive the test of time as military couples
Ask yourself a question
When you fall for a man in uniform ask yourself a question and be honest and clear about the answer to yourself
“Whether I have fallen for the uniform he wears or for the man that he is?”
Taking pride in his uniform and his accomplishment is a different thing and being fascinated about his uniform and position is entirely a different thing and you need to be very clear about it to your own self. If you are clear about your intents since the beginning you will save yourself a lot of trouble.
As a Soldier ask yourself
“If you truly deeply and madly like the girl and respect her completely or it is just a casual fling where you are least bothered about how your position is going to affect her mentally and also her growth as a person?”
By doing this you save yourself not only from being disgraced but also a lot of drama. You know you are a uniform bound soldier and your actions can always be held accountable. And if you are aware of your intent you always have an opportunity to share your intent with her and keep things clear since the beginning.
Separations are inevitable part of military relationships
If you are a kind of person who is always in desperate need of his or her partner and can not deal with separations then certainly military relationships are not meant for you and it is better for you to move on and find your one true love. Military relationships are long distance relationships and there is no in between. Whether you are an Army girlfriend or an Army wife long distance,separations for months are usual part of these relationships and trust me many women survive.
Honesty and Faith are two important traits in a military relationship
Since the military couple is bound to stay separated for long, deep honesty and faith are two traits that kind of compensate for it. As a couple you must work upon developing honesty and faith in your relationship. Talk about how you can grow these traits and how you must share your lives with each other regardless of the distance. The day you are able to share about your pain,sorrows,weakness,strength,happiness and more with each other without the notion of being judged,you have successfully established ‘Honesty and faith’ in each other and chances of your relationship succeeding is high.
Be a strong woman
Military men seek strong women. They are fully aware of their job profiles and constraints attached and they are naturally attracted toward strong women who are capable of not only holding the reins of their own lives but also of their soldier.
Only a strong woman can hold a relationship with a strong man.
Dont stop your life while he is away,build a career,chase higher education,work upon your goals,ambitions and dream. Locking yourself in a room and crying for hours,halting life is a primitive notion of waiting for young millenials. If you can not survive the distance as a girlfriend how do you think you will manage your home and family as a military wife? Because this is just the beginning, with his rank his responsibilities would also increase along with the separation part.
Character is not based on uniform
To save yourself the pain,please understand character is based on individual background and values the person hold,not on the uniform he wears or job he does. Many a soldiers are also ditched or dumped by the girl and they take months to come out of a break up shock and I have been asked many a times how could someone do this to a soldier ? Please come out of this,You being a successful soldier does not guarantee your success rate on personal front. Relationships are based on emotions not on your position.
Breakup,cheating and painful experiences are universal facts and happen all around the globe. It has nothing to do with the uniform that person wears. If he is a cheater,he might be a great soldier but certainly a weak fragile individual on personal front. Sooner or later his character will diminish his credibility which is the worst case for any soldier. As they say Karma always comes back to you in double the force.
At the end as my books says
You always rise in love, Never Fall. Love is a powerful feeling which nourishes the life force of this planet and it always and only empowers the partners together as one couple. Any relationship which is pulling you down,keeping you in trauma is not True Love. And once you find your one true love no matter what, you will always end up finding ways to survive your relationship and bounce back naturally.
Love never seeks excuses but provides power to overcome those.
Also I will strongly recommend you to read my books based on military relationship and will give you lot of insight on same.