Anybody saying I do not do Facebook is a liar! Facebook is full of creepy people though. There are crazy parents and obsessive taggers who would beat the shit out of you, Facebook couples who will annoy you with their Janu,Sona posts every single second. And many more! Even if you don’t consider Facebook a country, you gotta agree with me here that we all use Facebook compulsively and follow certain rules. You can’t escapes agony aunts and Roadside Romeo here until off course you don’t unfriend them. But all said and done go through this list of people you find usually on Facebook and wonder why?
The Annoying Taggers
These annoying taggers act as unofficial mafia of Facebook and you feel like stabbing them to death with that knife beside you. No matter how many times you warn or request them not to tag you in their posts they would take it as their ethical duty to tag you in every single post which is not relevant to you even for miles. You know the best thing to do with them? Just Unfriend them without any guilt, they totally deserve it!
The Creepy Stalkers
There are certain types of people in your profile who will never like,comment or share any of your posts but will always be there. They play NSA or RAW. They will keep on spying and stalk your every update. You could notice their activity around but never in your profile and that very moment you realize they are ‘the Creeps’. They will check your every single update,browse every picture but you never know their presence. You surely don’t need such secret society members in your profile(read life). And they deserve only one punishment. Block them and devoid them of their daily dose of free entertainment.
The Overenthusiastic Parents
You open your Facebook profile and see a cute baby smiling at you in your news feeds. You go ‘Awww’ like and even comment happily. But that is just the soup the main course involve everyday reactions,expressions,howling,laughing,sleeping,potting and everything else the poor baby does would be posted there on Facebook every single day. Soon you feel like smashing your head onto the wall just before you. If you unfriend them,they will ask you why?You can not hurt the parents so you simply unfollow them and buy the peace. And yes You Pity the Baby!
The Facebook Couple
These Facebook lovers have ruined the classic old romance of Romeo-Juliet or Shirin-Farhad. These couples basically have no time for each other and hardly spend time together but whenever they do they make sure the world to know about it. The suspense of them not proposing or wishing birthdays at the privacy of their own space is mysterious than Bermuda triangle itself. The caption ‘Eating ice cream with my Sona’ ‘Happy outing with Janu,’My wife is prettiest, You are the light of my life…blah blah…Happy Birthday my love’ and God knows how many other such captions literally grip you for rest of the day And you suddenly hate romance. These people suffer from identity crisis and they hardly ever post single pictures. Seriously folks! Why don’t you do just Instagram! These people are prone to cause serious disbelief in love to you. Avoid them at all cost.
The Facebook Beggars
Their only job? To Send you all sort of requests or beg you for game credits every single day. Your notifications are filled with million game requests.They just don’t get it that you hate that stupid Candy Crush Saga request or Building the castle game. The effing stupid annoying bl**dy game! They would be the people never liking commenting or doing anything except playing GAMESSS! Why don’t they just buy an X-box or something? Grow up! Seriously! You know what? BLOCK THEM!
The Agnoy Aunts
There’s a whole brigade of Agnoy Aunts on Facebook. They can be anyone and anywhere. They can be you uncle,aunty,dadji,fufaji,mausaji,sharmaji or just anyone ji. They post Good morning and Goodnight posts first thing in the morning and last thing in a day respectively. These are the people who post those ‘Like or bad luck would prevail’ sort of creepy post. Also the rest of the day is spent posting those forwarded messages like ‘JO MAA-BAAP KO NAKAREGA WO NARAK ME JAYEGA’ ‘and many things more.Look at the audacity that they even expect you to like it. They don’t get it! Facebook is not meant for them. Please quit!
They are the biggest As* of Facebook. These pseudo intellects would never ever put a single picture of themselves but you open your profile and it’s filled with their unadulterated Gyan. They bring Gandhi, Nehru,Mandela, Chacha Choudhary all to your feed. These self declared intellectuals have no life,no job basically nothing and they die to share their everyday wisdom desperately (which no body wants). So they use social media platform as potent weapon. They just post every thing. How to deal with them? Put them into your spam list.
The Everything People
These are the biggest losers. They put every single thing about their every single activity on Facebook. The feeds are full of ‘drinking tea at Mahima hotel’ boarding train from railway station’ ‘My family,my vacation,my dog,my toilet’ and god knows what not. They are truly horrible people. You have two options here ‘Unfollow them or deactivate your own account’
They do occasional liking here and there but they mostly vent out. These sad people use Facebook to vent out every single frustration they hold and spread the negativity around. They will crib about government,people,society,neighbor,dog, anyone but not them. They will keep on posting negative posters, MEME or sarcastic jokes. You know Twitter is the right place for such people and trolling is approved there.Their problem?Talk about society and changing it but never take an initiative. Hate a person but never try to confront publicly. These cry babies are dying of mental trauma everyday only because they can not deal with their own ‘Raita‘ .And you don’t have any obligation to entertain them. Just ignore and enjoy their plight and still if you are scared of them put them into your restricted list.
Aww! These are basically the cuties. They keep this place Happening. You will find them liking every single post every single place. They even like their own posts and updates. It gets awkward at times. But you kind of start missing them if they somehow skip liking your posts. Facebook is definitely not the same place without them. These are the people who don’t put criteria for liking anybody pictures. Generous people! What should you do? Just go and like them back.
People! Please try and understand Facebook is a social community and your behaviors can affect the peace here or make you a laughing stock. It’s meant for healthy interactions,keeping in touch,sharing each others happiness,being updated about the loved ones and exchanging useful information. Use it positively and be a Star.
Facebook Etiquette (Ftiquettes!): For those who think netiquettes don’t exist
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