Almost every girl in her life must have faced at least few incidences of eve teasing and several type of pretty frustrated stalkers or road side romeos. ‘Baby, sweetie, Janeman, Chamak Challo and sweetheart’ are few familiar words which almost every girl would have heard of million times. The epic saga of getting stalked and eve teased in public is simply mind boggling. Like those stares, flashes, gropes and touches were not enough but also sometimes girls have to face some really nasty long held stares to particular body parts (you know what I mean) and then not to forget the honorary mention to all those married uncle or Dadaji who would keep on staring the girls shamelessly and make them feel unclothed within minutes. This post is dedicated to every such stalker without whom our lives would have been easier and world surely a better place.

Roadside Romeos

The tea stalls, The roadside shops, the chaat chole stalls, The fuchka stands are their permanent abodes. Morning,noon,evening or even night, no matter what time… you can always find them nicely combed and dressed within best of their capacities but looking totally sloshed. Their jobs? Well waiting eagerly for the female species of any caste,creed or colour so that they could entertain her with all their well rehearsed songs from ‘Ruk ja o Dil diwani‘ to ‘Choli ke Piche kya hai’ 

Bicycle/Bike wala stalkers

They’ll all have a bicycle or bike handy to them. Fully petrolled and cycle would be brand new and the holy purpose of carrying or mostly borrowing such vehicles is only to stalk their dream girl. And their job starts the moment that girl steps out of her apartment or office.

Touchy Lovers

So they are touch masters and your every single body part is within their reach. They have a Phd in touching your various body parts with different expertise and angles. And Man! you can’t even imagine the pride they take in their expertise. So girls if you haven’t faced one yet then just beware into crowded markets, metros, trams and even on a rickshaw. They speed can’t even be beaten by ‘Usain Bolt’.

Creepy Uncles

So yes, their age would be more than your dad and may be sometimes if your bad luck has already surrounded you then they can be even older to your grandfather. But what to do? We live in a democratic country and ‘why should only boys have fun?’ Even uncles can have some fun! Their job would be to keep on staring at you and make you feel highly uncomfortable. Such uncles are totally dominated and beaten by their wives.

Power Players

This kind!! My girls is a very dangerous breed of stalkers. They will be found mostly at your workplace and they would try their best not to be visible before you but keep on making your life so difficult that finally your ultimate route of escape from that problem goes through them and man! That is what they always wanted. And then may god have mercy on you! You are trapped forever.

Auto Rickshaw Goon

The moment you will board their autorickshaw or bus or any such conveyance mode which you thought to make your life easy would turn into a nightmare. They will keep on adjusting the rear mirror throughout and keep on asking you all silly questions from your maternal uncle to how unsafe world is now. And all you could do is to pray your dear lord. A girl’s best defense to them? Well take out your phones to call some male friends and let him know that ‘Hey somebody’s there waiting for me’! And you thought there exist a better place for you ever.

Coursemate Horror

Yes, exactly like Sharukh Khan in movie Darr, his only academic goal would be to make your college memories horrible. You (along with your teachers and other batchmates) would keep on finding those love logos with your name in it all around your campus. He will track your every social engagement,friends,guy friends,boyfriend and everything else. He will count you as his commodity till you get married.

Possessive Lover

Well this category of lovers are normally called boyfriends until they don’t start imposing their every single whims and fancies on you. Your jeans and westerns would be a problem,your guy friends won’t be acceptable and your girlfriends would be tagged jealous. He can never take a no from you and even if you do something on your own you will always be scared of his overreactions. And one day you will only plan to get rid of him ASAP! So trust me if your guy has any of these symptoms then he’s sick and needs treatment not love!

Pados Wale Bhaiya Nonsense

These samples would be overly helpful whenever it ll come to help you out from doing your xeroxes to take you to the hospital and even picking up a fight with your landlord. And you won’t stop appreciating him until the day you will find that all the bad rumors about you has been spread by him and wait did he just asked you not to invite your guy friends at your place? Grrr!

Frustrated Lover boy

He’s mostly been educated in all boys school and his most female interactions would have been limited to his mummy and sister. And he so wants a female companion just to feel that how it feels to be with the opposite sex. He ll pray god everyday and ask his friends ‘Yar koi bhi chalegi,bus mil jaye’ . Every time you will find him then you can so spot his dog tongue and pleading eyes. No matter how hard you try to talk sense to him he will never understand that a no means absolutely no.’Hopeless!

So we are all talking about movie ‘Pink’ these days and guys it’s very close to reality in fact this is reality. You guys need to understand that you can’t force love on anyone it happens. And girls are pretty educated and sensible these days so if you think that your constant pleading will make them fall in love with you head over heel kinna then let me tell you one thing it actually irritates them. So next time you go stalk some girl or try to make her life hell I am surely not going to use age old ‘think of your mother sister'(either way it never worked on you) dialogue rather please think what kind of horrible impression you are making on her and may be losing your only chance that ever existed.

Love means making someone life’s beautiful and make her smile.

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