This Mother’s Day let’s get real! Mothers are supposed to be made of iron who have magical powers to run a perfect house,raise perfect kids only to look perfect too. Well it’s time to get real. We are humans first, all blood and flesh. We do cry,shout,break down and can sometimes be really angry. Get over your Bollywood Mommies who are the real culprits behind raised expectations. Either way I never quite enjoyed watching labour room scenes in movies. The poor woman screaming in misery always gave me goosebumps. But then as the baby was handed over to the mother, there was peace in the world. How lovingly she looked at her baby and forgot all her pain. So when it was my turn to enter the labour room, I thought it’ll be the same for me. A quick in and out, I’ll go in screaming and come out in a while, transformed into a Mother.
Well, I was in for a surprise. After 27 long hours of labour of a normal delivery when my baby was given to me, yes I felt very happy, but I guess it was more of a relief, thank God you are out, than motherly love. It made me feel like I was the worst mother on planet earth, but I just couldn’t feel all the maternal instincts that I had thought I would, courtesy all the dramatic Hindi and English Movies I had seen.But I was wrong. Real mothers celebrate mother’s day everyday.
There isn’t any such thing as a bad, forget worst, Mother. I became more and more of a mother with each passing day. And my baby was my best Teacher.
He’s not just a big boy now but a big brother too,, but I still look back to the transformation with a smile on my face and pride in my heart. When you become a mom, trust me, its not You anymore. I often find myself thinking, “was that me or am I thinking about some movie I saw”! For me everyday is a other’s day where I write a new mother’s day quote all tested and trailed by me a Real Mom of two adorable kids.
So this Mother’s Day let me enlighten you with the saga and struggles of a real Mom!
Trust me I don’t feel bad about it! But once your tummy becomes an oven to keep your baby warm and cozy, your body will surely change. Hats off to the Moms who soon bounce back to their pre pregnancy weight! I could never do it. Lets pass the buck, and blame it on being a Punjabi, that my waist size is now about 10 freaking inches more than it was when I was in college .
My life isn’t My life
My Life USED to be my own. I didn’t really matter if I had a drink or too much, stayed out late, didn’t cook, drove rash, but not any more. And the best part is that you don’t do it out of compulsion or because someone asked you to do it, it all comes from inside you. Every action of yours, each decision that you make will directly or indirectly affect the life of your children. It becomes a little overwhelming, but like everything else, you get used to this, as you no longer would consider yourself the center of the universe.
My wardrobe is all about comfort then fashion now. Just like most things, my wardrobe has also undergone a tremendous transition. With two kids, I avoid wearing my favourite colour, White! Dark coloured t-shirts easily conceal stains of things just can’t and won’t want to imagine. Body hugging and tight fitted clothes have slowly given way to kurtas and loose tops. Though I still haven’t parted with a few of my favourite dresses thinking “Shaayad ek din”! My chic clutch seems to be gone forever and I now carry a big hand bag that has space for diapers, feeding bottle, wipes, a change of clothes, snacks etc. etc.
Miss you Maggi
Maggi is no longer my staple diet.During the first few months of both my pregnancies I used to puke about 10-15 times in a day, and no amount of chocolates, pastries or fruits interested me. The only thing I would want to eat was Maggi. And if I did, you can’t imagine how wonderful the entire puking experience would become. Couldn’t have it then, don’t have it now. Also to set a healthy example in front of my growing up kid, cheese burger and coke had to be replaced with green salads and lemonade.
master at Multi-tasking
Yeah!even my mom found it hard to believe but now I could conduct seminars on how to rock a baby, put the clothes for washing, direct the maid, make a shopping list mentally all at the same time. But I guess, men won’t understand the concept and other Mothers wouldn’t need a seminar for something they already know. Sometimes, I pleasantly surprise myself too.
Motherhood sure gives you super powers. You have X-Ray vision and can see what is good and what is bad for your child . Be it food, clothes, people anything. Its like God gifts you with a Sixth sense and you just get to know whether your child is being honest or not, or how her day at school was, or if something is bothering him.
Know it all
From looking for lost items, to the child’s “tell me why”, Mom knows it all. But now as my son is growing up I make small efforts to make him more and more independent. One day like always he came to me asking for the solution to a simple mathematical problem. “You have to learn to solve your problems on your own now, what would you do if I am not around”? He just lifted his shoulders and said, “I’ll call you”!
A long hot bath is my favourite thing
There is hardly any time to go for a spa and so I heavily rely on having a little me time in the shower. Tranquility is a luxury as the fear of the baby waking up the second you apply the Soaps or are enjoying the last few minutes of calming hot water drops falling on the back of your neck, haunts you till the time you come out.
My personality has undergone a drastic change: When I meet my parents, friends or extended family, most of the time they are flabbergasted to see a new me. They find it difficult to believe that the lazy, short tempered and laid back girl they knew has vanished into thin air. Like I said It’s a brand new me! Not just they, sometimes even I wonder that even on the most crazy days, when the baby wants nothing but to cling to you, when the elder one has a project deadline to meet, when the husband wants to go out for dinner, where do I get so much patience to handle everything calmly and with poise.
I believe in unconditional love now. No amount of love can match the love a parent feels for his or her child. I don’t undermine the other relationships, but when it comes to your baby, its just so different. You don’t mind staying sleepless, hungry or dead worried and ask for nothing in return.
You might no longer be the center of your own Universe once you become a Mom, but you are the center of theirs.